Our Crazy "Not a Birth" Story

Today is my "due date" so to celebrate I'm posting this story from a few weeks ago that I finally got written up.  Hopefully I'll have an actual birth story eventually... ;)

So, a week ago last Wednesday morning, Nathan woke up at midnight throwing up and Micah went to check on him while I got up to grab towels.  Only, I got up & had a big gush of water... Micah heard it from Nathan's bedside and said, "What was that?"  Half awake and in shock, I informed him my water had broken.  I think his response was something like, "Are you serious?!"  ;)  At 38 weeks, we had been assuming we had at the very least another week!


After our midwife came, we found that baby was transverse.  We weren't able to get a positive reading on the amnio swab at first, but we did end up getting a positive reading from the puddle, so with the risk of cord prolapse, and with water broken so that obviously baby couldn't turn, we transferred for a c-section. 


It took us a short while to coordinate child care, grab the infant carseat out of storage, and pack a few essentials (as I supervised from lying on the couch), then we were on the road for the hospital.  It felt totally surreal... up in the middle of the night, leaving my poor sick kiddo in the capable hands of his aunts, and suddenly having a totally different birth before us.  As we drove we talked about what we'd ask for as far as c-section preferences... I knew that I wanted double layer suturing, skin to skin in the OR (ideally, on my chest right away, if not, skin to skin with daddy), no immediate swaddling or avoidable mama baby separation.  It was all surreal to think about and talk about.

We're about the same distance from three different hospitals, and I assumed initially we'd transfer to one of the two bigger ones, but we ended up heading to the small town hospital instead. They have a ridiculously high c/s rate (usually that would be a red flag, but it was what we were transferring for!), are a small hospital (nurses and doctors more laid back and likely to go along with our requests) and they handle a lot of the local Mennonite's hospital births so they're a little more used to natural birth moms and how they think and what they'll prefer.  

Since our midwife knew many of the staff, she called ahead and let them know we were coming in, so we skipped the ER & went directly up to L&D.  The nurse we had was nice and was even sympathetic about us possibly winding up with a csection instead of our planned homebirth. She got us settled into our room, directed me to put on the hospital gown, then strapped me into bed on the monitors.  This was all completely new to me, since I'd only even been in a L&D ward once, when visiting friends who had just had a baby.  (And can I just say that bed was the least comfortable bed EVER?)


This is when we got our first inkling that we weren't going to have a c-section.  The nurse palpated and frowned thoughtfully and said it certainly felt like a head down baby to her.  We all gaped at her, because both our experienced midwife and Micah and I (who, while not exactly trained in the art of midwifery, are on our third baby and can tell the difference between a baby that is up and down and one who is sideways!) knew that baby had without a doubt been transverse before transporting.  The nurse got amnio strips to test for broken water, and both of them came up negative.  She suggested that I'd had a "fore-bag" break and that although we'd have to wait for the ultrasound and the doctor to see us, we could probably go home if we wanted to and if baby was head down.


The ultrasound tech wouldn't be there for a few hours, so we tried to relax and process everything.  Mostly I played Words With Friends on my phone and distracted myself.  Our main concern at that point was that baby would actually be breech and that they would not discharge us or allow a trial of labor.  I was hopeful, though that even with a breech baby if I did not appear to actually be in labor or have ruptured membranes that they would let us go home.


Finally, the ultrasound technician wheeled in her cart and we got our first peek at our third little one... head down just like we were hoping!  Chubby cheeks, tiny fingers and toes, and measurements matching right up with our dates!  Although we had an overall good experience at the hospital, that was really the bright spot of the whole thing.


We waited a while longer to see the doctor on call.  She agreed with the nurses guess about it merely being a fore-bag break, and said that they really didn't consider that my membranes were ruptured, so we shouldn't consider ourselves "on the clock" as far as labor went.  She was fantastic and basically told us to go home and have a nice birth!


Still reeling, we checked out and headed to Walmart to grab an exercise ball (if labor did start, I knew I'd want it, but even if not I wanted it for good baby positioning) and other necessities, like fudge cookies and a mocha protein shake.  Our midwife went to take a nap, since we'd kept her up most of the night, telling us to let her know if anything happened labor wise.  We headed home and cuddled sick toddlers.  It was all very anticlimactic!  We were relieved and in shock and going home with an empty carseat and right back to wondering if we'd have a baby in a day or a week or two.  I'm so glad that we didn't end up with a c-section, but it’s hard going from thinking you're going to have a baby in your arms that day to going back to patiently waiting again!

On the plus side, you wouldn't believe how much of the "to do before baby" list we got knocked out that day! ;)

Home Again

 

We went to a glorious wedding this past weekend.  Here I am with the Best Man, our 2 1/2 year old, our 18 month old flower girl, and an obvious bump!  #3 is much more obvious now at 17 weeks, I feel like I really "popped" these last few weeks.  

The wedding was beautiful and the reception was a lot of fun!  Lots of dancing, eating, and catching up with people I hadn't seen in a long time.  Of course, there is never enough time to spend with each person so I got home wishing I'd had more time with them all, but it was still wonderful to see them.

Nathan likes weddings.  Especially weddings with cake.

Of course, babywearing was a big help while on the go.  Here we are at the mall... Nathan was going to walk but when he saw Miriam on my back he wanted to be worn too! :)  That ended up being better anyway since we were navigating escalators and went down a large staircase as well.  We attracted a lot of double takes (maybe because we were both wearing?) and had three different people come up and ask us about our carriers! 

On the way home, we hit Ikea!  It was amazing, even though we only had time (and energy!) for one floor.  But that is a whole post of it's own... ;)

Today I'm printing out Martha's Pumpkin Cheesecake recipe, reading The Nester's post on Pottery Barn Hacks for Thanksgiving, and washing curtains, cleaning ceiling fans, etc, before decorating for Fall.  I'm behind, I know, and I thought about just skipping it entirely (like all the stores seem to have done!) and decorating for Christmas... but I love fall decor and even though I'm not hosting Thanksgiving this year (whew!) I still want to have the house feel like fall.  So I'll be burning my pumpkin pie spice candle and hot gluing fall leaves to everything today! ;)

Calling all Babywearers

Every family has a story, and babywearing is part of ours.  After Nathan was born, babywearing entered our lives, and we are profoundly grateful for the connection, bonding, and ease of the babywearing way of life.  From chasing cows to coping with a child in the hospital, babywearing is an integral part of how we parent.

 Nathan's now 2 1/2, and most of the time much happier to be on his own two feet (which is fine, since he's also 30 pounds now), so he isn't being worn any more...but I cherish all the memories of kissing his sweet head while he was snuggled up securely in his sling or mei tai.

By the time Miriam came along, I'd found my babywearing groove, and was excited to be able to wear her a lot more than her brother.   Tandem babywearing  made our year of 2 under 2 much, much easier. When she  was born, Nathan had been walking for a week. There was no way he could toddle all the way across a parking lot, far less walk through a store.  And if you've ever tried to navigate a stroller through a crowded, treasure laden thrift store (start by getting in, the doors aren't automatic!), you'll understand why strapping 35 pounds of baby to your torso is comparatively easy.

 I didn't want to be home-bound just because I had two very small children, and thanks in large part to babywearing, I wasn't.  And I not only shed the baby weight pretty quickly (try squatting down to get a can on a bottom shelf at the discount grocery with 35 pounds of extra weight and you'll see why!), I enjoyed making fun memories with them at the same time.

When we found out #3 will arrive next spring, one of the wonderful things we started looking forward to was wearing a snuggly little newborn again!  My husband laughed at me when I said that... and then later said he's really looking forward to getting to babywear a newborn too!  He loved the Moby wrap, and this time around I'm trading another carrier for a pretty indigo Moby.  Can't wait!


I know I've been rather silent around here, between morning sickness, a horrific cold *achoo!*, and a broken camera, so you might be wondering what brought me out of the woodwork.

Babywearing is in crisis, and just as babywearing helped us, we need to turn around and help the babywearing industry stay beautiful, vibrant, and diverse.
While I've made many of my own carriers, not every mama can, and we need a variety of big and small babywearing businesses that can provide those families with the tools they need.  When I'm stopped on the street and asked about my carriers, frequently I say, "I made this one, but you can buy a similar one from (fill in the blank depending on the type.)"  Often that person will write it down or take one of my babywearing cards with more information.

Losing those businesses due to expensive testing, prohibitive regulation, or sheer bureaucracy is not acceptable. 

What if I can't refer them to somewhere they can buy a similar carrier anymore? Or if eventually even sharing patterns and tutorials for DIY carriers is curtailed because of regulation?  How will that harm babywearing?  I don't know and I don't want to find out.

The CPSC is trying to regulate the babywearing industry, and there's a risk more of our favorite carriers will disappear,  like Hotslings.  Babywearing is a parenting choice, and by restricting our access to carriers, the CPSC is going to limit our ability as parents to choose what we feel is best for our babies.  This is totally unacceptable.

Please go connect with the Baby Carrier Industry Alliance on Facebook to stay updated.  A recall of a major baby carrier (at the moment unnamed) is being forced through this week.  The Baby Carrier Industry Alliance states that this is a safe carrier and the CPSC is very much in the wrong to be forcing a recall.   More details here, please take the time to read and act.  If this can happen to one carrier, it can happen to them all.  All our carriers are in jeopardy.  

If you are represented by any one of the legislators listed here, PLEASE call and write them! 


Also, if you're a blogger, the Baby Carrier Industry Alliance needs you... please go here and read their call to action!  We need to be vocal right now about how important babywearing is to us! If you write a post, be sure to post it on the BCIA Facebook page AND add to the linky over at Adventures in Babywearing... one linky participant will win a Sakura Bloom ring sling!   And if you share your babywearing story and link up at the Wrapsody Baby blog you'll be entered to win a Gypsy Mama microfleece wrap (perfect for fall!)

Whether you wore your babies, would have wanted to, are a current babywearer, want to babywear someday, or just plain care about people having the right to make their own parenting choices without heavy handed government intervention, please take the time to act.  For the small businesses. For the parent's who need their hands back.  And for the babies... and their babies.

Babywearing

 If you know me, you  know that I frequently have a baby on my back.

That's how we roll - babywearing makes it easier to snuggle with my babies and get things done.

It was a lifesaver about a year ago when the cows got out into the road and we had to get them back in unassisted and I had to go in and out of ditches and open gates and move quickly, oh, yes, and the baby was hungry, too.  Babywearing means I could burn calories marching all over chasing cows, while breastfeeding at the same time.  ;)  What's not to like?  Oh, yeah, the cows were out...

Babywearing isn't just for mamas, though.  Micah babywears- one of the many things about him that makes me all weak at the knees. ;)

I think a stretchy wrap is the best newborn carrier of my stash.  There is a bit of a learning curve, but the incredible comfort is worth the effort.  A friend gave me a Moby wrap for Miriam and I loved it!  My second recommendation would be a ring sling.  They're great for shorter chunks of time when you don't want to put on the wrap.  Plus you can use it well into toddler hood for a hip carry! You can make one (my mom made me my two), or buy one.  I also love our mei tai and podaegi, and want to experiment with woven wraps.

Miriam loves being worn... and wearing, too! ;)  Here she is with her baby in a doll sling. :)

This post was written for the Babywearing Carnival hosted by Jami of Babywearing Videos.  Thanks, Jami!


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